Oh Livejournal, how I've neglected you so. I'm sorry. You know I still love you.

I've been back in St. John's for over a month now. Shit's going well, but for the most part has been completely uninteresting.

Today, however, I put some metal in my facehole.

( Facemetal be here. )

That's all I've got. I'm gonna go eat now. (I'm not really drunk.)

You know you all want to witness this:

Procrastination's Closest Cousin featuring Jonathan Kennedy - "The Real Slim Shady"

The irony of me performing that song is beautiful. (I fucking hate Eminem, for those of you who don't know me well enough to be familiar with my intense hatred of that fucker.)

Random thoughts for Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006:

It's 5:28 AM. It's, I would estimate, 30°C in my bedroom right now. Fuck. So gross. And I don't even have any homemade popsicles to eat. Double fuck. I just realized that my window wasn't even open. Triple fuck.

Oh, so I'm a singer now? What the fuck? Haha, no good can come of this.

I downloaded a bunch of random-ass foreign films recently:
Jules et Jim
L'Uccello dalle piume di cristallo
Nuit et brouillard
Jigoku
Kyua

Now to find the motivation to watch them all. I also need to get some english subtitles for Kyua, since it came with goddamn french subtitles. I also have The American Astronaut downloading but the fucker from whom I was downloading it went offline and hasn't returned yet.

Hooray for obscure cinema!

The sun is now starting to come up. It is now 5:51 AM.

I hurt my tailbone whilst skateboarding last night, it's still a little sore. Goddamn heelflips. Nothing but trouble. First I almost kill myself with a varial heelflip, now this. Argh.

I have somewhere to live in St. John's. This is comforting news. 34 Wexford. Just behind Stockwoods, apparently, which is rad, because I'm the kind of guy who likes to visit convenience stores at 3:00 AM. When I lived on Viking I used to always go to the Ultramar Pipeline on Kenmount. The guys who worked there must have thought I was a gigantic pothead. I'd buy chips, a bar, candy, beef jerky and a Sprite all the time. I mean, who the hell besides potheads buy shit like that at 3:00 AM? (Me apparently, haha.)

I bought "Crisis" yesterday. Got the last one on the shelf. I did not manage to get Silent Hill on dvd though, because the rat bastard gutter sluts at Wal-Mart were sold out of widescreen copies. They had a bunch of fullscreen copies though. Hint for Wal-Mart: There is more of a market for widescreen dvds than fullscreen. Stock more fucking widescreen and fewer fullscreen. (And on a related note: Fuck fullscreen and anyone involved in creating a market for fullscreen dvds in the first place.)

I dunno what else to talk about because my life is incredibly fucking lame, so I'm gonna go watch Eraserhead and then sleep.

So Friday was my last day at the hellhole affectionately known as the call center. I really don't miss that place. I do miss some of the people (Maryjane for example, she's a really cool kid), but not having to speak to 40 or 50 dumbass Americans every day is a welcome change of pace.

Speaking of dumbasses, I was introduced to The Dudesons tonight. That shit makes Jackass look like fucking Romper Room.

I really don't have much else to talk about. I'm a fucking boring kid. Go watch this Cancer Bats video instead: http://www.teamdistort.com/100grandcanyon/

So badass.

Thanks a lot, dad. Thanks for telling me that you'd take me to St. John's this weekend, leading me to switch three fucking shifts at work so that I'd be able to go, then deciding that you're going to leave at 8 in the fucking morning on Friday and come back on Saturday, thus leaving it pointless for me to even fake sick and take a bus out, since it would mean I wouldn't be able to do any of the stuff I had planned, aside from go the Cancer Bats show. As much as I want to see the show, it's not worth a $50+ dollar, 7 hour busride AND $15 cover.

He actually fucked over my plans to see Alexisonfire last summer too. And there was another show, too...I'm thinking maybe Sam Roberts. I dunno. But yeah, this is nothing new.

This would have been a fun weekend, too, had it all gone according to plan. But nooooo, I would never be so lucky. Fuck.

(To top it all off, I asked the bastard to take me to the store tonight, he said he would, then ten minutes later said no because he had three glasses of wine in him. Fucking wineo bastard. I had to skateboard to the store like a madman. I made it there with three minutes to spare before it closed. My legs are kinda sore now.)

I've said it before and I'll say it again, in the words of the great Wayne Campbell: "I'm being shit on, that's all! Shit on!"

</insignificant_ranting>

My friend (1:41:42 AM): http://www.punknews.org/article/18926
My friend (1:41:48 AM): how incredibly fucked up is that
Me (1:42:58 AM): wow
Me (1:43:22 AM): related note: 1-800-SUICIDE is a pretty awesome song vy the Gavediggaz, haha
Me (1:43:53 AM): but fuck, faith based suicide prevention?
My friend (1:44:37 AM): kill yourself, and satan will fuck you in the ass! his dick is the size of a greyhound bus!
Me (1:45:11 AM): hahaha
My friend (1:46:02 AM): it also has spikes in it, that once inside you, shoot out like on a spike strip
Me (1:47:58 AM): satan's cock is a giant porcupine quill basically
My friend (1:48:16 AM): yerp
Me (1:48:25 AM): badass
My friend (1:48:37 AM): i must say, ive had weirder conversations

What is wrong with me and my friends?

In other news:
Cancer Bats, Children Of Eve, Call The Ambulance and some other kids Friday night? Fuck yeah! Here's hoping I can get Friday off to go to SJ. If I go to SJ that also means a few new purchases and such, including a new monitor, hopefully, and a lip piercing. Fun times.

Dear douchebag potential-but-not-pleased Cingular customer,

I do not control the prices of the phones that cingular.com, Cingular store or buy.com sell. If you're too cheap to buy a phone that costs $250 dollars, that's your problem, not mine. I don't give a shit how "not cost effective" it is. Buy a cheaper fucking phone. Don't waste 15 minutes of my fucking time because different stores have different prices and you're too fucking cheap for any of them.

And you know what? You're right, I don't care if you end up going to Verizon instead of Cingular. All that means to me is one less douchebag customer for me to fucking deal with.

Love,
Jonathan Mikael Kennedy

(August 18 cannot come soon enough.)

<self-whoring style="shameless">
Everyone go to my website and ogle the art. I posted something sort-of new today. Go, impress members of the opposite and/or same sex! Leave comments and shit there if you so desire.

http://subversive.trackiepro.com/
</self-whoring>

In other news: Nick, Kass and Mark abducted me while I was out for a walk yesterday and we ended up taking a road trip to Lewisporte. On the way back, Kass hit a rabbit. It was pretty harsh.

I have nothing to talk about, really.

Weird dreams are fun, but not when they interrupt much-needed sleep.

It starts out that there's this giant thunderstorm (I mean fucking HUGE). I see my mom out at the car bringing in groceries, so I run out to help her, but when I get outside, the sky had completely disappeared (just went all black, but somehow there was still sunlight). Somehow this doesn't phaze me, but mom's no longer at the car, so I go back inside. I look out the window again and it's just a normal day outside.

I go into my room, but it's the call center, but it's like a maze. I walk around and find my friend Steph and try to sit down, but for some reason I can't. (Something else happened at this point I think, but I forget what exactly.) I leave the "call center" and am back at my house, but in the basement. My grandfather (who happens to be extremely religious in real life) is there, and he start's telling me about how all books are plagiarized because they really all come from God but no one gives him credit, and then he realizes he missed the first third of his favourite radio show, and gets really distraught, as though something bad was going to happen because of it, and keeps saying "Oh, goddamn it!"

I leave (with Hot Hot Heat now in my head, haha) and go back upstairs. This time my room is my room, but there are two mirrors hanging on the wall. One of the mirrors reflect what I would expect to see, the room, me, etc. The other mirror reflection shows me sitting at my computer and when I look at what should be myself in the mirror, I'm an obese naked woman.

I should not be awake right now. I am, because MUN are cunts. I'm registering courses right now. Registration started at 9:30, it is now 10:31. I should be fucking finished by now. But noooo, because MUN's servers are shit and crash every time I try to register a course. I've got three registered so far. Two to go. Might be done by 11. Fucking MUN.

For those of you who actually give a shit (ie. no one), here's what I've managed to register as of this posting:
Political Science 3730 - Intro to Policy Analysis
History 3823 - Terrorism in the 20th Century
Sociology 3290 - Deviance

Right now I'm TRYING to register for North American Popular Music, but the fucking server keeps crashing. I'll be sure to update you all as to when I'm finished and what the other two courses end up being (as by the time the server stops being a fucking cunt, the music course will probably be filled). Argh.

UPDATE:
So I managed to register my other two courses:
Music 2011 - North American Popular Music
Political Science 4230 - Theories of International Relations

I WANTED to register for Anthropology (Insert random 4-digit nuber here) - Cultural and Social Inequality, but there's a time conflict with the music course. I keep trying to override, but of course it always fucking crashes when I try. It's now 11:08 AM. i'm technically finished, but not really finished. Fucking MUN.

Also: I just had a realization: Working at the Call Center is like a cross between Clerks, and Office Space, but less awesome. (And on that note, I watched Clerks 2 last night, and thoroughly enjoyed it.)

Here are some videos for you all to enjoy:

Alexisonfire - "No Tansitory" (live) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqGUqNjgjLQ
At the Drive-In - "Quarantined" (live) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqsNR5pI6bw
Blood Brothers - "Love Rhymes With Hideous Car Wreck" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OEtlteAojI
Idiot Pilot - "Sparkplug" (live) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lD55lOevuA (Sound quality kinda sucks, but I had to post it because it's one of my favourite songs ever.)
Joy Division - "Transmission"/"She's Lost Control" (live) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxE1lF6fgfw
Refused - "New Noise" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8MkVIe9xGc
Sparta - "Collapse" (live, acoustic) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTBigYyucMA
Thursday - "Steps Ascending" (live) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hm11JM8nzQw
Pretty Girls Make Graves - "This Is Our Emergency" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWhzAWUla_M
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - "Y Control" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fK3NAWAtx0Q

Okay, that's enough of that. You may know some, you may not, but enjoy. I have nothing to really talk about.

I was bored, so I did up a shitty mock-up of my planned tattoos. Just need to get the estimates and make the appointments.

( Click for fake tattoo picture goodness )

Hopefully I can get to SJ next weekend, since I have three days off starting Friday. I'll make an appointment with one Mr. Craig Cutler to finally get my lip pierced while I'm out there, and then get the estimate while I'm at the shop and book an appointment with Dave for probably sometime in September. It's all coming together. Woo!

(I know, you're all so fascinated!)

In other shit-I'm-getting news, I'm getting this shirt:
http://img160.imageshack.us/img160/324/advert28vp.jpg

Fun, no?

I'm gonna go try to do something creative, and fail miserably. Rock rock on.

I've decided that after work tomorrow (er, today, actually) I am going to start on a downtempo album in the style of Rjd2's "Dead Ringer" but the album is going to be a concept album built on samples of serial killers and songs about them. I'm a fucking weirdo, I know, but I need something to occupy my time, and this could be fun. Might actually consume the rest of my summer, which would be kind of good.

So after work, I'll be arriving home, pumping myself full of Guru and getting my morbid-ass to work on this. (Mind you I'll probably get frustrated and give up on it after half a song, and it'll likely suck ass, but fuck it, worth a shot at least.)

On that note: Any of you kids know anyone who has a keyboard/synth they muight be willing to lend me?

Okay I REALLY need to fucking sleep. It's 5:13 AM and I work at 10:30 AM. Fuck.

Dear crowd surfers and slam dancers...

Could you be any more fucking obnoxious? Seriously, if you want to be the most obnoxious person at a show, do both incessantly.

Okay, first, crowd surfing: How incon-fucking-siderate can your douchebag ass be to think "making the crowd support my body weight and guide me along is a fucking AWESOME idea!" Sure, I crowd surfed a little when I was younger, it is fun to do, but risking injury of both yourself and those below you for that fun is fucking douchebaggery at its finest. Dropping the cunts who crowd surf isn't an option either, because it's dangerous as fuck. So you have a bunch of annoyed people saying "oh fuck, a crowd surfer" and pushing your ignorant ass along just so you don't break your fucking neck, then you kick half of them in the head. Fuck that. You're a cock, and expect to be punched in the kidney by me, especially if you kick me in the head.

On to slam dancing: What the fuck is that shit? What the fuck kind of unevolved animal instinct does heavy music bring to the surface in some people that they feel the need to get in a fucking circle and just shove each other around as violently as possible? Nevermind the fact that when there's alcohol involved--and there almost always is--that a fight is almost fucking certain to break out. Buut people have been doing it for decades. I don't care if it's at a Black Flag show in 1980 or a Billy Talent show in 2006, slam dancing is fucking stupid. It's like some kind of ultra-macho mating dance (though that analogy is flawed because it's clearly not attracting you any women). But to quote Ben from his little on-stage rant tonight, "You don't need to show everyone how big your cock is." And don't even think about telling me that shit's a positive way to get out pent up aggression. I can't even comprehend how people might find it fun. Then again, people are fucking retards. I will say one thing though: In some of the circle pits I saw tonight, some of the people had the decency to help up the people who fell. But they were outnumbered probably 5-to-1 by assholes who kept shoving people down. I won't even go into how fucking dangerous it is to be knocked down in a big fucking crowd (that's another thing I have against crowd surfing too, actually; you drop a kid the wrong way into a crowd and bad things will happen). Not applicable to smaller shows, but at a show like the Salmon Festival (which itself is a relatively small festival, so it's even more applicable to major festivals), it's not cool. Then there's the fact that the edge of the circle pit is always changing, which causes a chain reaction amongst the crowd pushing EVERYONE in the crowd around and making everyone uncomfortable as fuck.

Oh, one last thing: If you find yourself bored at a show because you're not slam dancing or crowd surfing, go take up martial arts or go to a goddamn amusement park, because you're obviously not there for the fucking music.

Love,
Jonathan Mikael Kennedy

Okay, for those of you who never read my old LJ, at one point I came up with the theory that Marten from Questionable Content is me with less punk music and more alcohol consumption.

Exhibits A and B are as follows:
http://www.questionablecontent.net/comics/9.png
http://www.questionablecontent.net/comics/64.png

Now, upon reading through again, I also have more evidence:
http://www.questionablecontent.net/comics/1.png
http://www.questionablecontent.net/comics/11.png
http://www.questionablecontent.net/comics/76.png

Luckily, I have not had this happen recently (unless you count a metaphorical headbutt to the ballsack):
http://www.questionablecontent.net/comics/185.png

Also, I can't help but feel that this is as summary of the first part of my summer until yesterday (loosely speaking): http://www.questionablecontent.net/comics/30.png

In summary: Jeph Jacques is a stalker from the future who has come back to the present to use his stalking-gathered knowledge of me to loosely base a webcomic on me. Radical.

Damn, I was really enjoying the whole not being single thing. (I promise, this is the most emo thing I'll ever say on this.)

Did you know that cigarette lighters were invented before matches?

Yeah, I have no idea if that's actually true, but Mike Skinner just shouted it at me through my stereo. I didn't even know there was a new The Streets album until about 45 minutes ago, but I'm listening to it now, and it is sounding good. I also discovered that The Mars Volta is releasing an album on August 22, which is very exciting. I already scored a leaked version, which sounds fucking amazing, as I expected it would. Last bit of music news: I discovered just how amazing The New Amsterdams are Saturday night. So good.

It's too fucking warm and I'm having toruble getting to sleep. That's really not good when I have to go into the hellhole at 10:30 AM. Fuck. Throw a crummy mood that I've had since Saturday night and that doesn't bode well for the cunts who call in for my help tomorrow.

Despite my creativity being completely fucking drained, I started a drawing tonight. Hopefully it turns out well, but I dunno, I'm just not feeling that good about my art lately. Completely devoid of ideas. Though I did come up with a few film ideas, which is cool.

I bought my Salmon Festival ticket today, so I'll finally get to see Billy Talent after the incident back in '04. Should be fun. Also: The dude from Foreigner playing the Festival = ROCK. Only way it could be better would be if they had gotten Journey to headline.

Okay, I'm done wasting your time. I'm going to make a third attempt at getting to sleep now.

1) Amber, you're right, no point in starting a new LJ, I'll just keep beating this one into the ground.

2) Andrew Brown is my hero: http://i-see-da-reaper.livejournal.com/201138.html

3) Fuck. I'm bored. Someone entertain me, you rat bastards.

I decided to delete everything because I was bored. Might even start a new completely worthless LJ out of the sheer boredom. Woo!